Peanut Butter Chocolate Chunk Thingies!

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Alright, folks, buckle up, because we're about to embark on a culinary adventure so ridiculously easy, it's almost embarrassing. If you can stir a pot and resist the urge to eat everything before it cools, then congratulations, you've got all the skills you need for this recipe. We're making... drumroll please... Peanut Butter Chocolate Chunk Thingies! (I haven't come up with a better name yet, so work with me here.) These are so addictive, they should probably come with a warning label. Seriously, make these at your own risk. You've been warned.


Ingredients

  • 1 cup corn syrup (the kind your grandma uses for pecan pie, not the high-fructose stuff... unless you're into that sort of thing)
  • 3/4 cup peanut butter (chunky or smooth, your call – just don't use the powdered kind, that's just weird)
  • 1 1/2 cups chocolate chips, semi-sweet or dark (because milk chocolate is for amateurs... just kidding! ...mostly)
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract (because every recipe needs a little je ne sais quoi)
  • 2 cups roasted peanuts, salted or unsalted (because who doesn't love a good peanut? Seriously, if you don't like peanuts, this recipe might not be for you)

Instructions

  1. Warning: This recipe requires the patience of a saint and the reflexes of a ninja. You will need to pay constant attention to this mixture as it cooks, stirring almost constantly or the mixture will burn faster than your toast on a Monday morning. Be very careful. It will get quite hot, so don't try to lick the spoon until it's cooled down (I learned that the hard way).
  2. Lightly grease the bottom and sides of a 9x9 inch pan (because who has time for fancy shapes?) and line both the bottom and sides with parchment paper (because nobody likes scrubbing burnt sugar off a pan).
  3. Heat the corn syrup over medium-low to medium heat until it is hot and almost boiling (it should look like it's plotting world domination), stir in the peanut butter and vanilla and heat for another couple of minutes before stirring in the chocolate chips (because chocolate makes everything better).
  4. Boil this mixture gently for 4 minutes only (set a timer, or you'll end up with peanut brittle!), stirring and scraping the entire bottom of the pan as it cooks (a silicone spatula is ideal for this – it's like a magic wand for candy making).
  5. Remove from heat (before it starts a rebellion) and stir in the peanuts (because they deserve to join the party).
  6. Carefully add the mixture to the prepared pan (and try not to spill any, unless you want your kitchen counters to be sticky for the next week). You will need to use the back of a tablespoon or a silicone spatula to press and spread the mixture evenly into the pan (because presentation matters, even if you're just going to eat it all yourself).
  7. Let cool completely for several hours at room temperature (this is the hardest part – resisting the urge to sneak a taste).
  8. Before lifting the batch out onto a cutting board and cutting into 25 - 36 squares with a large sharp knife (or just break it into chunks, who cares?). I prefer them smaller because they are very candy-like (and because I have no self-control).
  9. Store in an airtight container with sheets of parchment paper between the layers if you are stacking them (because nobody likes sticky candies).

Enjoy your peanutty, chocolatey creation! And remember, if it doesn't turn out perfect, just blame the recipe. 😉

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